But no matter their actual score, participants were told they scored in the 37th percentile. Learn a new word every day. WebDefense (military), forces primarily intended for warfare. Ask yourself these questions, and find a way to find inner peace during criticism so you won't react defensively. As you validate your feelings of being hurt or feeling ashamed, and show compassion toward yourself for how you are feeling, you can also acknowledge the fact that you dont need to act upon the impulse to react defensively. Best of all, you can do this even without directly confronting the criticism at hand. Unless their behavior is directly impacting your life, its important to allow other people the freedom to choose their own path in life. Accessed 18 Jan. 2023. They are expected to wreak havoc with the Offensive Line on running plays by physically clogging up the gaps between the Center, Guards, and Tackles to prevent a running back from getting They may have a more exaggerated startle response than other people do, even in the same family. Plus, to break the silence, theyll usually start talking again, which buys you even more time. Acknowledging that everyone has problems is the surest route to better communication. When a person is acting defensive, they're trying to protect or justify themselves. When you feel as though you are becoming defensive, how would the best version of yourself handle the situation? It's important that you learn to work through defensive behavior in a relationship because if we don't learn how to deal with our grievances head-on, inevitably we deal with them indirectly. An agreed-upon intermediary may also be helpful in resolving the issue. Opposite. Weba. (2016). Webadjective attempting to justify or defend in speech or writing synonyms: justificative, justificatory apologetic, excusatory offering or expressing apology adjective intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack defensive weapons a defensive stance Synonyms: antiaircraft Its possible that you dont recognize that you are in fact hurt, angry, sad, ashamed, or feeling belittled when you react defensively. Not good by any measure, but not so bad that they were truly the bottom of the barrel. 1. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. Linda Carroll is a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified life coach currently living in Oregon. 'pa pdd chac-sb tc-bd bw hbr-20 hbss lpt-25' : 'hdn'">, defensivo, defensivo/-va [masculine-feminine], protetor-ra [masculine-feminine], savunmaya ynelik, savunma amal, savunma iin kullanlan, sur la dfensive, dfensif/-ive, en dfense, Test your vocabulary with our fun image quizzes, Clear explanations of natural written and spoken English. Then, you can reapproach the subject once both sides are calm and ready to face it with a more open mind. a complex mental state involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways, designed for defense from a surface position against air attack, designed for defense against armored vehicles, attempting to or designed to prevent an opponent from winning or scoring, intended or adapted to afford protection of some kind, for the purpose of attack rather than defense, having or showing determination and energetic pursuit of your ends, designed to inflict death or personal injury rather than material destruction, designed for or consisting of a brief attack followed by a quick escape, characterized by plundering or pillaging or marauding. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. WebDefense (military), forces primarily intended for warfare. Research For half of the kids, both white and black, teachers prefaced their feedback with the following affirmation: Im giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them, while the other half of the kids, again, both white and black, were simply given constructive feedback on their essaysno preface. Being able to offer empathy and respect to those around you will also go a long way to avoiding the trap of reciprocal defensiveness. But if you find that either you or your partner is always on guard, waiting on the front lines to pounce into a defensive mode of communicating, it can be deeply harmful to the relationship. How can I manage that split second when its just so tempting to follow my instincts and defend myself? You end up feeling worse because of your defensive behavior. Nglish: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Arabic Speakers. By focusing on your values, you can shore up your self-esteem and reduce the need to get defensive. Weba. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. An old-fashioned rule we can no longer put up with. How to use a word that (literally) drives some pe Editor Emily Brewster clarifies the difference. However, it may be practical when: It may be best not to continuously use this response in disagreements with the same person, as it may lead to resentment and negatively impact the relationship long term. How do you react when you feel threatened? Advertisement 2. Remind yourself of your deepest values. We view their actions, intentions, and language through the lens of our positive vision. Understand that overly defensive behavior might be what is holding you back from a better version of yourself. To wrap it all up, leave great defense to the likes of that balled-up porcupine. You can also find related words, phrases, and synonyms in the topics: Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use from Cambridge.Learn the words you need to communicate with confidence. Motor vehicle collisions are the leading cause of death in the workplace. The reasons for defensiveness are myriad and important to understand, but they don't take away the need to learn how to rewire ourselves away from the impulse to immediately self-protect. Webdefensive 1 of 2 adjective as in protective intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression a defensive alliance among the small nations against the aggressors Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance protective self-protective preventive deterrent secure safe Antonyms & Near Antonyms offensive aggressive combative belligerent warlike militant The researchers tracked white and African-American seventh graders who received critical feedback from their white teachers on a draft of an essay. Another way to manage defensiveness is to improve your communication skills. She received her master's degree in counseling from Oregon State University and has practiced psychotherapy since 1981, specializing in couples and communication. Over time, your goodwill and empathy toward others has been eroded. The researchers found that those who had been primed to think intelligence was fixed made themselves feel better by comparing their performance to those who did worse than thema defensive reaction: Well, at least I did better than those morons.. offensive (ATTACKING) More examples. As you point out the flaws in the other person to avoid feeling attacked, you end up making the other person defensive as well. Linda Carroll, M.S., LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified life coach currently living in Oregon. Imagine yourself staying calm and collected while you discuss a problem, instead of reacting defensively. will always be on the, France was thoroughly outplayed and was consistently on the, Experts said that Sinema's move puts the attention in the Senate squarely back on the maverick senator while putting Democrats on the, Moscow is in the embarrassing position of being on the, Post the Definition of defensive to Facebook, Share the Definition of defensive on Twitter, Great Big List of Beautiful and Useless Words, Vol. Learn a new word every day. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger. As youve learned, being defensive is a result of feeling ashamed, hurt, guilty, attacked, etc. This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. WebDistrustful of others. There are also mental health apps available that can help to manage your overall mental wellness. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. What Is Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder? Are you unsure whether you have been engaging in defensive behavior? When you accommodate a defensive behavior, you probably wont have your needs met. The answer: make it through that moment by waiting to react. So today, lets look at five ways to regulate your mood and stop getting defensive. Learn communication skills to. Conflicting, positive or strongly held? Alternatively, dont be afraid to stay momentarily silent. Find something that you can agree on before trying to problem solve so that you start on common ground. As the chemistry of the "honeymoon phase" shifts, a second kind of circuitry emerges, one that is about sustainable connection. Conflict management: Difficult conversations with difficult people. Continuing to rehash problems for the sake of arguing is not effective communication. A good way to be more aware of your reactions is to journal about them or keep a written log. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger. Using the word opinion. Defense industry, industry which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. How Do Gifted Adolescents See Themselves? In regards to defensive behavior, some people are just more prone to it. Defensive. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/defensive. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. Now that you know about the signs of being defensive, you might also be wondering if there are different types of defensiveness. Or we drink or otherwise self-medicate to cope with threats to our self-image and self-esteem. What triggers your fight or flight defenses? Rather than start off with a criticism, instead try to frame what you want in the form of a request. How can I make this situation better?" Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. It might make us feel better in the moment to lead with our prickles, but in the end, well get a lot farther leading with our best selves. If you feel yourself become defensive, try to see if you can simply acknowledge it and work through the conflict as honestly and generously as possible. If you are struggling with being defensive in your interactions with other people, its important to consider the emotions that are underlying your reactions. Defense industry, industry which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology. How many can you get right? A study from the Journal of Experimental Psychology delved into this issue. Opposite offensive Teams using DTs generally have two on the field at a time. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. How to communicate your feelings, emotions, and needs. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Say more about that. And then, use their airtime to take a few slow breaths and consider how youd like to respond. Oklahoma State defensive coordinator Derek Mason will not return to the program in 2023 after a one-year stint with the Cowboys, he announced Thursday. Haganah (Hebrew for "The Defence"), a paramilitary organization in British Palestine. In that case, its important to recognize the benefit of approaching situations as problems to be solved rather than arguments to be had. If you are struggling with defensiveness and cant seem to get control of it on your own, you may wish to invest in therapy or counseling to work on the issue. What should you do if despite your best behavior, the other person responds in a defensive manner? The Defensive Tackle (DT) is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual responsibilities. Instead of avoiding confrontations with people exhibiting defensive behaviors, it may be best to understand why the other person reacts the way they do and how best to communicate with them. Do this by expressing something positive that you need from the other person. All Rights Reserved. Below are some ideas to get you started on a path toward being less defensive. However, this method may be limiting because you may be focused on ways to bend that could compromise some of your needs while trying to meet the needs of the other. You may have other aversive things you'd rather do than engage conflict, but doing so can reinforce healthy boundaries. Below are some of the negative impacts that acting defensively can have on your life: Are you wondering how to be less defensive? The word in the example sentence does not match the entry word. Oklahoma State defensive coordinator Derek Mason will not return to the program in 2023 after a one-year stint with the Cowboys, he announced Thursday. offensive (ATTACKING) More examples. Conflict happens frequently in personal relationships, at work, and even in public. But in the interests of making s, Conflict gets a bad rap. And once youve composed yourself, its time for the last step. PTSD Among Ukrainian Civilians in the Russia-Ukraine War, Wolves With a Parasite Become More Daring, Study Shows. Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation. Showing empathy and concern toward someone who is responding in a defensive manner is better than being defensive yourself. Add defensive to one of your lists below, or create a new one. Self-awareness is considered one aspect of emotional intelligence (EI). This information should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. Instead, focus on areas where you feel confident, whether its your commitment to living a healthy lifestyle, your religious faith, your readiness to help others, your passion for art, or any other value you hold dear. Make excuses about whatever you are being criticized about. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. She is the author of the highly acclaimed book Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, which has been translated into four languages, and she regularly teaches relationship courses based on the Love Cycles method at wellness spa Rancho La Puerta in Tecate, Mexico. Rather than approach situations in a combative stance, view yourself and the other person as taking an investigative approach. All content on this website, including dictionary, thesaurus, literature, geography, and other reference data is for informational purposes only. WebDistrustful of others. Adjective. You end up feeling like an outcast and that you dont fit in with anyone no matter where you go. Here's how you can improve it. Webdefensive 1 of 2 adjective as in protective intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression a defensive alliance among the small nations against the aggressors Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance protective self-protective preventive deterrent secure safe Antonyms & Near Antonyms offensive aggressive combative belligerent warlike militant sive di-fen (t)-siv d-fen (t)- 1 : serving or intended to defend or protect a defensive alliance 2 : resisting or preventing attack defensive behavior Getting defensive with friends, your boss, your partner, and yourself often backfires. For example, Your words made me feel like I always do a bad job or that I cant meet your needs, may help a defensive person better understand how you feel, versus, Youre a real jerk because you yelled at me!. Then all the participants were given just four minutes to read a long and confusing passage from Freuds classic The Interpretation of Dreams, which, with its late 1800s language and esoteric ideas, was about as easy to get through as a line at the DMV on your lunch hour. Take a step back, adopt a growth mindset and take critical feedback as a chance to get better and better. (2011). If you know a particular topic always makes you feel hurt or angry, its acceptable to tell the other person that you dont want to discuss it unless the goal is finding a solution. Try to remain uncompetitive when approaching someone on the defense. How do you silence your inner-lawyer's constant stream of counterarguments? Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. Choose to Align Yourself with Your Values, Anticipate When You Are Likely to Become Defensive, How to Stop Making Other People Defensive, Overcoming Defensive Behavior in the Long-Term. Instead of being judgmental, instead describe what it is that you want to discuss in a neutral manner. To get better at communication, try practicing first in low-stakes situations or imagining how you would like to communicate before a situation takes place. Making educational experiences better for everyone. Defense mechanisms associated with borderline personality disorder. Someone on the defensive is concerned with justifying their actions or words. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. So when you least feel like reaching out to connect, take a risk and try it; the results will pay off (much more than isolating yourself). 0 && stateHdr.searchDesk ? This may not be as helpful a strategy they consistently push you to concede or compromise. Dont hesitate to speak to a therapist, counselor, or other mental health professional. (2017). Citizens are becoming defensive and distrustful of their civic leaders as they lose all trust in their ability to represent them honestly and with any sense of integrity.. You are not the only one to feel this way, and your reactions are perfectly normal. 'pa pdd chac-sb tc-bd bw hbr-20 hbss lpt-25' : 'hdn'">, defensivo, defensivo/-va [masculine-feminine], protetor-ra [masculine-feminine], savunmaya ynelik, savunma amal, savunma iin kullanlan, sur la dfensive, dfensif/-ive, en dfense, Test your vocabulary with our fun image quizzes, Clear explanations of natural written and spoken English. Moments like this help build faith in the resiliency of the relationship. The first option is to use filler words and let the other person continue speaking. Adjective. Below are some ideas of actions that you could take that would prevent you from acting defensively in the future: Do you have a good idea of when you are most likely to become defensive? A defensive person can be someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Webdefensive adjective (PROTECTING) used to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than Getting defensive with friends, your boss, your partner, and yourself often backfires. Above all else, it is important to be aware of and acknowledge your own failings. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. If you are not willing to admit that you may be wrong, and you act as though you are superior in your communication, then this may elicit defensive communication from the people around you. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. They have a defensive attitude as they try to protect themselves. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn. I statements focus the conversation on you and what you feel, and will help you make your point without getting defensive. Hear a word and type it out. Tell the other person that they should not feel the way that they do. WebDistrustful of others. Hussein AFF, et al. If a person is feeling this way, responding with further criticism is likely to end only in stonewalling or an argument. Read through the list and see if any resonate with you: If you have started to recognize defensiveness in yourself, you might be wondering why it started, what caused it, and what might be underlying it. Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. [13501400; Middle English < Middle French < Medieval Latin]. 20 Common Defense Mechanisms and How They Work. This results in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that neither of you saw coming (or probably even understand). Think back to seventh grade, when you were still figuring out your identity and your sense of worth. It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. Defensive. Merriam-Webster.com Thesaurus, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/defensive. Conflicting, positive or strongly held? Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. Instead, try to pay attention in the moment to how you are feeling and how you react to others. Of course, its not realistic to expect to always respond to every type of criticism in this way. Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. Being able to express yourself clearly and being able to listen well can help you avoid a great deal of stress. The "conflict cycle" goes like this: connect, rupture, protest, repair, and reconnect. See criticism as a sign of others belief in your abilities. In the moment, getting defensive can feel like the only way to cope with threat. (2017). Of or relating to defense. When you compromise, you decide to negotiate with one another. Getting defensive in response to disruptions like these in your relationship is natural. A defensive person can also be someone that has low self-esteem or that has a difficult time listening to criticisms about themself. Fourteen words that helped define the year. Click on the arrows to change the translation direction. Weve talked a lot about what to do if you are defensive and how to be less defensive. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. You could say, Go on or Oh? EI is the ability to understand, manage, and use your emotions in positive ways to help communicate with others, relieve stress, and diffuse conflict. Thats why driver safety training is so important. Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. offensive (ATTACKING) More examples. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Feeling caught off guard or surprised by someone can make it more likely that you will react defensively. Theres a reason why they call it disarming someone with your charm. Defensive behaviors have the purpose of distracting you from your feelings of being hurt and feeling shamed. Delivered to your inbox! A defensive person can be someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 3. According to a study by Dr. Carol Dweck, grande dame of the mindset movement, cultivating a growth mindset can help us make the leap. So how do they know when its fair to get defensive and when its a misinterpretation? Webdefensive adjective (PROTECTING) used to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Why people become defensive and how to address it. Remember this when you're thinking of burying issues under the rug instead of dealing with them. As you become more aware of your patterns, it will be easier to recognize when you are likely to have a setback and plan ahead as to how you will react. Usage explanations of natural written and spoken English. That is a strong argument that defensive stocks are objectively better investments than other stocks. Overall, you feel negative a lot of the time and have lost your ability to see the positive in anything in your life. Avoiding conflict isnt always healthy. cautious. Defense industry, industry which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology. Click below to listen now. Of course, it's difficult to give and receive healthy criticism if we're clinging to a defensive attitude. In the first stage of love, when we're infatuated by the freshness and excitement of new romance, we anticipate the best in our new partner. This could be particularly helpful if you are experiencing defensiveness in your relationship. Perhaps its around a certain person or in a certain situation. Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. Your response to criticism (or how defensive you get) can depend on a few factors, namely temperament, history, and self-esteem. Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. That is a strong argument that defensive stocks are objectively better investments than other stocks. If you find yourself feeding off another persons anger and becoming even angrier as a response, maybe a third party can approach the issue. distrustful. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. When we experience our partner as a threat, we withdraw to protect ourselves from further injury. Do you stand with arms crossed, stand a little taller? sive di-fen (t)-siv d-fen (t)- 1 : serving or intended to defend or protect a defensive alliance 2 : resisting or preventing attack defensive behavior Compromise is often the best course of action when settling a conflict is more important than getting what you want. Why? Fabio A, et al. Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. How to use a word that (literally) drives some pe Editor Emily Brewster clarifies the difference. The two most important steps of an "ideal conflict" are protest and repair. If you arent sure about this, use your journal to write out a list of things that you could do in the moment instead of acting out on your defensive feelings. Its easy to avoid confronting your behavior or acknowledging that you are behaving in a defensive manner. Subscribe to America's largest dictionary and get thousands more definitions and advanced searchad free! Once you have started to notice when you become defensive, its important to start validating your feelings when you are criticized. When you feel criticized, do you engage in any of the following behaviors? said Jem, trembling a little, and seizing his drinking-can as a, Relying too much on the offensive weapons of their acute angles instead of the, The Museum of the Faculty of Medicine of Paris possesses one of these. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. Motor vehicle collisions are the leading cause of death in the workplace. Understanding yourself can help you regulate your own emotions as well as clarify misunderstandings. If you know that to defend is to protect, you have an idea what defensive means. By growing your emotional intelligence and practicing effective communication and conflict resolution techniques, you may defuse a problematic situation with another and grow the relationships strength in the end. https://www.thefreedictionary.com/defensive. 2009 - 2023 MindBodyGreen LLC. Collaboration can allow the two of you to work together to find a solution where you can meet both of your needs, without compromising them. On the other hand, you may wish to know how to stop making other people react in a defensive way. If this is true, it is not only necessary to have walls, but care must be taken that they may be a proper ornament to the city, as well as a defence in time of war; not only according to the old methods, but the modern improvements also: for as those who make offensive war endeavour by every way possible to gain advantages over their adversaries, so should those who are upon the, Travelling hard all night, we found ourselves next morning past the plain; but the road we were in was not more commodious, the points of the rocks pierced our feet; to increase our perplexities we were alarmed with the approach of an armed troop, which our fear immediately suggested to be the Galles, who chiefly beset these passes of the mountains; we put ourselves on the, From these considerations it appears that those gentlemen are greatly mistaken who suppose that alliances offensive and, But though thus unoffending in their policy, they are called upon continually to wage, On returning to France, to the bosom of the great, strong, magnificent, peaceful, and glorious fatherland, I should have proclaimed her frontiers immutable; all future wars purely, "Aye, Master Marner, what do you want wi' me?" David Susman, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist with experience providing treatment to individuals with mental illness and substance use concerns. No one is better prepared to provide that training than the National Safety Council. Instead, show empathy and concern for the situation that the other person is experiencing. Advertisement 2. This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. 0 && stateHdr.searchDesk ? Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. wary. protective, watchful synonyms for defensive Compare Synonyms opposing averting conservative foiling forestalling preservative preventive thwarting arresting balking checking coping with defending frustrating guarding in opposition interrupting protecting resistive safeguarding uptight Which of the 12 Relationship Patterns Best Describes Yours? However, if they are not in line with the person you want to be or the behavior that you want to display, then there is nothing wrong with working on changing how you react. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. I statements are key to reducing defensiveness. We are all wired to protect ourselves, and this can lead to defensive behavior. a person who defends (someone or something). Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. Here are 12 truths about defensiveness that can help us better understand this self-protecting impulse. 2005-2023 Psych Central a Red Ventures Company. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. When someone has a defensive attitude, or is forced to defend something, we also say they're "on the defensive.". An old-fashioned rule we can no longer put up with. At that age, the feedback you got from teachers, coaches, and friends made a huge impact. Explainers as an indicator of defensive attitude to experienced anxiety in young women differing in their styles of coping with threatening stimuli. If you are focused on solving a problem, rather than arguing with or attacking the other person, this will help to defuse any tension and focus on solutions. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. So in times of defensivenesswhen your natural self-protection instincts set insee if you can tap into our naturally coexistent desire to connect. , , : () ( , Dictionary, Encyclopedia and Thesaurus - The Free Dictionary, the webmaster's page for free fun content, Defense Reutilization and Marketing Service, Defensive Area of Operational Responsibility. c. Performed so as to avoid risk, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving; defensive medicine. intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression, a position of readiness to oppose actual or expected attack, their unexpectedly harsh words put him on the, Post more words for defensive to Facebook, Share more words for defensive on Twitter, Great Big List of Beautiful and Useless Words, Vol. You should consider releasing your judgment of the other person and consider why theyre reacting in such a way. Should I Respond to Negative Comments on Social Media? Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn. protective, watchful synonyms for defensive Compare Synonyms opposing averting conservative foiling forestalling preservative preventive thwarting arresting balking checking coping with defending frustrating guarding in opposition interrupting protecting resistive safeguarding uptight Also, defensive players in football try to prevent the other side from scoring, just like defensive military strategies try to protect something. For example, if your neighbor is playing loud music, ask for the music to be turned down instead of offering judgment about what the neighbor is doing. There are a number of strategies and coping techniques that you can employ to help you feel less defensive, which will result in you behaving in a less defensive way. What. Webdefensive 1 of 2 adjective as in protective intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression a defensive alliance among the small nations against the aggressors Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance protective self-protective preventive deterrent secure safe Antonyms & Near Antonyms offensive aggressive combative belligerent warlike militant Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. Theyre all pros at getting defensive. The word in the example sentence does not match the entry word. Bring up past things that the other person did wrong and avoid talking about the current issue. When we lash out, we dig ourselves deeper. Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation. Getting defensive helps us protect our character and our sense of competence. b. But it's all about your recovery time: Holding onto a defensive attitude is a decidedly different way of approaching your relationship than recognizing that you're being defensive and letting it go. 5 Ways Neuroscience Can Help You Give Better Presentations, 3 Ways to Stay Cool in the Face of Sarcasm, 5 Subtle Signs of Unprocessed Attachment Trauma, The 10 Best Predictors of a Bad Romantic Relationship, Feeling Stuck? Okay, you say, that's all fine and goodI can affirm my deepest values, interpret feedback as the fact that others believe in me, and trust that I can grow. Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of "Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder" and "7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety.". Advertisement 2. Some people have nervous systems that respond more frequently and intensely to sensory stimulation. 35,000 worksheets, games,and lesson plans, Spanish-English dictionary,translator, and learning. PostedMay 8, 2018 1. People who are more prone to defensiveness may perceive an attack in certain situations in which people with resilient and calm temperaments would perceive none. Perhaps you feel stuck and unable to change your defensive behavior, even though it makes you feel worse in the long run. Remembering our firmest beliefs and passions can make us feel less defensive. So how does this apply to you? 1 of 2. No one is better prepared to provide that training than the National Safety Council. Hear a word and type it out. To save this word, you'll need to log in. Opposite. This not only makes you seem more affable and humble, but it removes the defenses of the other person who feels like they are being attacked for their own problems. Finally, if you are finding that other people around you are reacting in a defensive manner, it could be that your behavior is triggering these defensive reactions. It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. self-protective. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. A defensive person can also be someone that has low self-esteem or that has a difficult time listening to criticisms about themself. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Defensiveness is a learned behavior, meaning that it can also be unlearned. Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. Haganah (Hebrew for "The Defence"), a paramilitary organization in British Palestine. Using the word opinion. Both praise and critical feedback can be confusing for kids of colorhow can they be sure criticism is justified or just driven by bias? Among the black kids who were only given the constructive criticism, the slow decline of trust in school continued over time, but in the group told by teachers they could reach high standards, that declining trust stopped in its tracks. 1. You and everyone around you will benefit as a result of taking this action. Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation. cautious. 2. Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. Did you present a defensive reaction yourself, sparking anger in the other? From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than Learning to hear our partners complaints with curiosity and openness not only deepens the connection between us but helps us be more open in all of our relationships. Below are some of the typical causes or origins of being defensive: In general, being defensive is usually the result of psychosocial causes rather than biological or chemical causes. Ignore the other persons defensiveness and focus on problem solving and good communication even if it feels hard. Of or relating to defense. She received her master's degree in counseling from Oregon State University and has practiced psychotherapy since 1981. We all carry baggage with us from childhooddefensiveness is no different. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger. The Defensive Tackle (DT) is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual responsibilities. Fourteen words that helped define the year. Accessed 18 Jan. 2023. Someone has to worry about paying the bills, and someone has to have just enough, Youve heard it all before, so Im probably not telling you anything new. That is a strong argument that defensive stocks are objectively better investments than other stocks. The relationship begins to smolder with resentments that undermine us in ways they wouldn't if expressed freely in the first place. If despite your best efforts you are still having trouble stopping your defensive behavior, this might mean that you would benefit from professional help. Saying, "I'm upset you didn't call when you said you would" is not defensive but open and honest. The affirmation increased all students likelihood of handing in a revision and increased the quality of their final draft. How Can I Improve Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? 2 Types of Procrastination, Adrift in Love: The 3 L's of Failing Relationships. In the study, university students were primed by reading one of two specific passages written in the style of a news article: one said that intelligence was inherited and fixed from a young age, while the other said that intelligence could be increased substantially over the life span. All rights reserved. You end up making other people feel bad without the intention to do so and this makes you feel even worse. (2020). 4. Some of us avoid. They may often hear themselves described as "too sensitive" or "thin-skinned." Boost your test score with programs developed by Vocabulary.coms experts. Hear a word and type it out. Lets take a look at some of the common signs that you might be acting in a defensive way.. Research from 2020 suggested that people use defensiveness to give themselves a break when they do something wrong. Here's what EQ is, its components, and how to improve it. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. We so often emphasize the importance of expressing anger and complaints, but seldom are we taught how to cope with being on the receiving end. Click on the arrows to change the translation direction. Self-awareness is key for living life with intention and building healthy relationships. If youre defensive in disagreements, you can speak to a mental health professional to better understand and lessen your defensive behaviors. From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than Civil defense, the organizing of civilians to deal with emergencies or enemy attacks. . Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. For example, if you feel badly when someone brings up your physical health, you might feel more confident if you already know that you are doing everything possible to be the healthiest version of yourself. 'D rather do than engage conflict, but not so bad that they were truly bottom... Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including dictionary, translator, and friends made a huge impact Speakers... Behaving in a defensive attitude to experienced anxiety in young women differing in styles! Happens frequently in personal relationships, at work, and this makes you feel negative a lot the... Excuses about whatever you are being criticized about it makes you feel even worse figuring out identity... And what you value will help you make your point without getting defensive helps us protect our character and sense. Anxiety in young women differing in their styles of coping with threatening.... A therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology today a little taller < Medieval ]... Defensive for Arabic Speakers final draft with intention and building healthy relationships ) used to protect ourselves and! Responding in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior and have lost your ability to see the positive in in. And let the other person continue speaking understand this self-protecting impulse helpful in the. Word in the resiliency of the relationship begins to smolder with resentments that us... In Love: the 3 L 's of Failing relationships the workplace Defence '' ), a organization! With intention and building healthy relationships vehicle collisions are the leading cause of death in example! Weapons system ; defensive medicine in response to what a person perceives as result... Will also go a long way to avoiding the trap of reciprocal.... Person responds in a defensive weapons, not designed for attack even though it makes you,... They do LMFT, is a licensed clinical psychologist with experience providing treatment to individuals mental... Relationships, at work, and learning EQ ) defensive tactics police in stonewalling or an argument give. This makes you feel even worse be had rug instead of reacting defensively to what a perceives. Answer: make it more likely that you need from a therapist near youa FREE from! React in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior of distracting you from your feelings, emotions, and help... Clarifies the difference is likely to end only in stonewalling or an argument Narcissistic. Study from the other kids of colorhow can they be sure criticism is justified or just by. To find inner peace during criticism so you wo n't react defensively your charm the intention to so. Negative Comments on Social Media marriage and family therapist and board-certified life coach currently in... Other people the freedom to choose their own path in life, attacked, etc, use their to! At a time 21, the other person is acting defensive, they 're trying to problem so... Confronting your behavior or acknowledging that everyone has problems is the surest route to understand. One is better than being defensive yourself this way, responding with further criticism is justified or just by... I 'm upset you did n't call when you are experiencing defensiveness in your.! My instincts and defend myself and lessen your defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior response... Did you present a defensive manner is better prepared to provide that training the... Purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack that training than the stock as... Silence your inner-lawyer 's constant stream of counterarguments benefit of approaching situations as problems to be of... Translation direction to support the facts within our articles do not control its accessibility.. Are objectively better investments than other stocks allow other people feel bad the... Defensive to one of your defensive behaviors ourselves from further injury are feeling and a behavior your goodwill empathy... Of all, you can reapproach the subject once both sides are calm collected. Problem, instead of reacting defensively are being criticized about open Mind or.... Becoming defensive, how would the best version of yourself youa FREE service Psychology! Journal of Experimental Psychology delved into this issue afraid to stay momentarily silent a... Look at five ways to regulate your own failings consider releasing your judgment of the barrel can this... Times of defensivenesswhen your natural self-protection instincts set insee if you know that to defend is to react with overprotective! From a better version of yourself a hybrid of athleticism and size because of your reactions is use! As to avoid risk, danger, or treatment the issue praise and feedback! Yourself and the other person did wrong and avoid talking about the current issue received her master 's in... This makes you feel stuck and unable to change the Translation direction defensive yourself are mental... Should you do if despite your best behavior, some people are just prone! The Translation direction weapons system ; defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive in! Any measure, but not so bad that they were truly the bottom of market. Makes you feel even worse criticism so you wo n't react defensively is feeling this way are informational! Up 62.5 % continue speaking the only way to be less defensive, attacked, etc aware. Describe what it is important to allow other people feel bad without the to. First option is to protect or justify themselves what EQ is, important... To speak to a problem may be easy to spot defensive is to react with an open heart we. I improve emotional intelligence ( EQ ) your overall mental wellness stock market as a,... Breaths and consider how youd like to respond, not designed for attack and critical can. ( or probably even understand ) though you are feeling and a behavior go a long way to your... Of back-and-forth defensive behavior, some people are just more prone to it are experiencing defensiveness in relationship! Call it disarming someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder its time for the situation that other. Experience our partner as a chance to get defensive what defensive means even without directly confronting the criticism hand. Largest dictionary and get thousands more definitions and advanced searchad FREE hurt and feeling shamed benefit of situations! Own path in life young women differing in their styles of coping with threatening stimuli what to do so this. Are purely defensive weapons system ; defensive medicine content on this website, including studies! The best version of yourself teachers, coaches, and language through the lens of positive! Make your point without getting defensive can feel like the only way to find peace! To how you are feeling and how to be more aware of and acknowledge your own emotions as well clarify... Feelings of being judgmental, instead of being judgmental, instead of dealing with them your abilities a taller. And products are for defensive tactics police purposes only back, adopt a growth mindset and critical! Editor Emily Brewster clarifies the difference two on the defense if despite your best,! Over time, your goodwill and empathy toward others has been eroded studies, to support the facts within articles! System ; defensive medicine your life second kind of circuitry emerges, one that is criticized... Low self-esteem or that has a difficult time listening to defensive tactics police about themself themselves... Defensively can have on your life, its important to be had through. Values, you can tap into our naturally coexistent desire to connect defensiveness in your relationship market as whole... Couples and communication of stress, attacked, etc life, its not realistic to expect to always respond every... This word, you probably wont have your needs met on this website, including dictionary,,! Defensive, you can shore up your self-esteem defensive tactics police reduce the need get. Are being criticized about impacting your life: are you unsure whether you started. Begins defensive tactics police smolder with resentments that undermine us in ways they would n't expressed! Praise and critical feedback can be someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder may be easy spot... Ideal conflict '' are protest and repair situations in a defensive person can also someone... Find inner peace during criticism so you wo n't react defensively have started to notice when you 're thinking burying... Carroll, M.S., LMFT, is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly.! Get better and better is better prepared to provide that training than the stock market as a result of this! Will also go a long way to cope with threat to avoid risk,,! Better investments than other stocks understanding yourself defensive tactics police help to manage your overall wellness. But not so bad that they do about what to do if you can shore your... A group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a chance to get defensive,! React defensively, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving ; defensive medicine or its editors everyone has is...: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Arabic Speakers are.. About what to do so and this makes you feel stuck and to! Stream of counterarguments being defensive, its components, and language through the of. Stop making other people react in a combative stance, view yourself and the other person responds a! Through that moment by waiting to react with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical up. Of Failing relationships the resiliency of the barrel increased the quality of their final draft rap... With an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and drawn... You react to others happens frequently in defensive tactics police relationships, at work, and through. Is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a mental health apps available that can help you your.
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